#hum

Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat. ↗

— Joseph Heller

#humor

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark. ↗

— Steve Wright

#reading #humor

You must have a bladder like Lake Erie. I think empires rose and fell in the time it took you to pee. I could hear it the whole time." Thank you. Do you want something? ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor

He was Apollo, God of Light, Music, and Healing, an immortal who had lived for eons and about whom stories and poems had been written. But he was also wretchedly carsick. ↗

— P. C. Cast

#humor #p-c-cast #humor

How many black holes have we been up close and personal with?" Kosta countered. "All sorts of odd things happen near the event horizon, from huge tidal forces to variations in time. Personally, I'm voting on it having to do with gravity, either a polarization of the fields themselves or else something related to the time differential." I didn't know physics had become a democracy," Hanan murmered. ↗

— Timothy Zahn

#humor #timothy-zahn #humor

My heart is pure as the driven slush. ↗

— Tallulah Bankhead

#humor #humor

Hey, look, I just regenerated a finger. Guess which one. ↗

— Rich Burlew

#humor

Profesi suami yang paling baik bagi wanita adalah arkeolog. Karena semakin tua si wanita, suami akan semakin tertarik kepadanya. ↗

— Agatha Christie

#humor

People don't know how chickens can turn on you, but they can -- just like mad dogs. ↗