#hum

God is even in a single parent household. ↗

— Karen Salmansohn

#relationships #humor

Isn't that just like a man. 450-fucking-years-old and he's still thinking with his balls! ↗

— Tanya Huff

#humor

The more obscure our tastes, the greater the proof of our genius. ↗

— Jennifer Donnelly

#humor #taste #humor

You couldn't hurt a fly." Actually I was pretty good at pinging flies right out of the air, but I tried to look appropriately harmless. ↗

— Josh Lanyon

#josh-lanyon #humor

Then the high king carefully turned the golden screw. Once: Nothing. Twice: Nothing. Then he turned it the third time, and the boy’s ass fell off. ↗

— Patrick Rothfuss

#humor #joke #humor

I need a sample of your blood,' said Kira. Marcus raised an eyebrow. 'I didn't know we'd reached that stage of our relationship. ↗

— Dan Wells

#humor

Born at Midnight - “Personally for me, wearing a thong is like flossing your ass ↗

— C.C. Hunter

#humor

Hermione can't draw, Hermione can't draw, Hermione cannot draw! She only reads books and she cannot draw, even if she's reading a how-to-draw book! ↗

— Darren Criss

#humor

She swept away, putting an extra kink into her walk. I would not have thought that a woman with an ass that bony could make it wiggle so much but she proved me wrong. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #kate-daniels #humor

Skipping school isn't a crime. It's an infraction. They're totally different. ↗

— Cory Doctorow

#humor