#hum

Is everyone from your planet like you?" Leyon asked, his gaze intent. "For the most part," she replied. "You have no men on your planet." "We do! ↗

— Lizzy Ford

#humor

Elsa's joke Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots! ↗

— Jacqueline Wilson

#humor

The problem with the Tea Party is they're all ignorant hillbillies who drink moonshine and ride around on mules. And they believe in stereotypes too. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#politics-of-the-united-states #humor

Angels and demons, vampires and lycans, all set against an inventive, intriguing story world that hooked me from the first page. Balancing action and romance, humor and hot sensuality, Sylvia Day's storytelling dazzles. I can’t wait to read more about this league of sexy, dangerous guardian angels and the fascinating world they inhabit. A Touch of Crimson is a paranormal romance lover's feast! ↗

— Lara Adrian

#endorsement #humor

You're his lobster. Or swan, Or penguin. The Spock to his Kirk ↗

— Elizabeth Rudnick

#love #humor

He caught me stealing his golden phoenix.' Tithonus closed his eyes briefly. 'Good grief!' He opened them again. 'I was half hoping it wasn't true. Have you any idea of the implications?' 'He was mistreating it!' Pyrgus protested. 'Of course he was mistreating it. This is Black Hairstreak we're talking about. He mistreats his own mother. I don't suppose you stole her as well? ↗

— Herbie Brennan

#phoenix #pyrgus #tithonus #humor

Stupid deer," I said, embarrassed about being startled. "We need a ladder." "I think they're easier to shoot with a rifle." "I'm not talking about the deer," I said, hitting Milo on the back of his shoulder. "We need a ladder to look over the wall." "Or a catapult," Milo said seriously. ↗

— Obert Skye

#deer #humorous #shooting #humor

Even Cronus, the Titan who literally had his kids for breakfast, would find these facts hard to swallow. ↗

— Tai Odunsi

#greek-mythology #humor #mythology #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians #humor

I stared. "Canadian Satanists? You're sending me to a group of Canadian Satanists? ↗

— Richelle Mead

#paranormal #richelle-mead #satanist #succubus #succubus-heat

It's like pretending to be Santa and then stabbing someone with a candy cane! ↗

— J.B. Stanley

#christmas #humor #murder #pretend #santa