#hum

I’m Queen Rhiannon, but you can call me Queen Rhiannon. ↗

— G.A. Aiken

#humor

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore, always carry a small snake. ↗

— W.C. Fields

#humor

I poo poo the chit.' The attendant looked stunned. 'You cannot poo-poo the chit!' I do.' Kate said solemnly. 'I do poo-poo.' We'll walk. ↗

— Kenneth Oppel

#humor

Sometimes lying was the better part of valor and the only way to save a man’s butt. ↗

— Christine Feehan

#humor

As I nodded and smiled and umm-hmm'd and oh, my'd my way down the drive, I wondered if boys had any sort of magazine that told them how to attract women and, if so, did it ever tell them to put the girls' interests first? ↗

— Jennifer Donnelly

#romance #humor

Is Loor a man's name or a woman's name?" Aja, TRB. It is the name of a female warrior." Loor, TRB. What did she do that was so heroic?" Aja, TRB She killed her enemies and ate them." Loor, TRB. ↗

— D.J. MacHale

#humor

Listen to the Chair Leg of Truth! It does not lie! ↗

— Warren Ellis

#humor

It turns out that one can perpetrate all manner of heinous villainy under a cloak of courtesy and good cheer. . .a man will forfeit all sensible self-interest if he finds you affable enough to share your company over a flagon of ale. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor #humor

with me,it is 'better never than late ↗

— Ngũgĩ wa Thiong’o

#humor

There is also a CAN OF PEANUTS on the desk. Ha ha, oh DAD. You won't be falling for THAT one again any time soon. A severe peanut allergy is a terrible affliction to cope with. ↗

— Andrew Hussie

#prank #humor