#hum

Paull has his own style, which is folksy, not canned. Religion? He's got one. His prophet's Ayn Rand. By Rand's eerie theories he's fervently gripped, So he won't do flip-flops. He long ago flipped. ↗

— Calvin Trillin

#politics #humor

So, what are you doing with my little sister today?” Daniel asked. I closed my eyes in defeat. “I’m afraid I can’t ruin the surprise,” Noah said. “But I promise I’ll return her intact.” He did not just say that. Daniel cackled ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#embarrassment #humor #humor

He peered down at me. “Jesus Christ. You’re leaking.” If by “leaking” he meant “sobbing like a girl,” I guess so. ↗

— Lili St. Crow

#humor #ya-paranormal #humor

he shrugged. "occupational hazard of being a research assistant to a total dick". ↗

— Sylvain Reynard

#humor

Cats, like butterflies, need no excuse. ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#humor

A hero without faults is like an omelet without little bits of eggshell in it. ↗

— Colin Cotterill

#heroes #humor #personality #real-life #humor

There’s very little that I find to be more interesting and unpredictable than the behavior of a psychotic bitch, especially when it’s directed towards some other poor soul. ↗

— Aaron B. Powell

#humor

Sophie was a walking truth serum. If she was touching bare skin, she could yank the truth out of you like a loose tooth. I’d spent several unpleasant hours in her company during the Council’s screening process for humans who planned to work with vampires. That’s when I learned that you don’t refer to Buffy, the Winchesters, or even the Frog Brothers from The Lost Boys in front of Council officials. They do not have a sense of humor about that sort of entertainment. ↗

— Molly Harper

#supernatural #the-lost-boys #humor

I'm probably something like 95% chicken nugget ↗

— Jeff Kinney

#humor #reality #truth #humor

Nowadays the standards had plummeted so far that I failed even at being a failure. I silently packed up. Nothing else was left. They had even robbed me of self-pity ↗

— Arthur Nersesian

#humor #pathos #standards #young-people #humor