#hum

Just curious how much I'm going for these days," Leo said. "I mean, I can understand not being as pricey as Percy or Jason, maybe...but am I worth, like, two Franks, or three Franks? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

I think I've had a shit, Shaya." The poor woman sounded distressed and mortified. "Have I, Grace? Don't lie to me." "No, you haven't." "I have, you're lying. Is she lying, Lydia?" "No," Lydia quickly said, "you haven't, I promise. ↗

— Suzanne Wright

#taryn #humor

The story she had told me was possible, but it was not believable. ↗

— Giacomo Casanova

#humor

What harm has he ever done to you?' 'You know what harm he's done me. He offended me with his terrible taste. ↗

— Nick Hornby

#humor

Si al final mis problemas no eran solubles, cuando menos serían adulterables. ↗

— Xavier Velasco

#humor #problems #humor

Vlad hated doing the paperwork as much as he did when a human employee quit, which was why they'd both made a promise not to eat quitters just to avoid the paperwork. As Tess had pointed out, eating the staff was bad for marale and made it so much harder to find new employees. ↗

— Anne Bishop

#humor

We had our breakfasts--whatever happens in a house, robbery or murder, it doesn't matter, you must have your breakfast. ↗

— Wilkie Collins

#humor

What the hell is instant? Nothing is instant. Instant rice takes five minutes, instant pudding in an hour. ↗

— John Green

#philosophical #realization #humor

I believe there is a considerable range in the bang of most guns. ↗

— Gail Carriger

#humor #humor

It should be noted that no ethically -trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter. ↗

— Nathaniel S. Borenstein

#programming #software #humor