#hum

How do you deal with it?" Kami asked Jared. "The laughing at nothing and occasionally stopping dead in your tracks." "I have a system where when I stop, I lean casually against something," Jared told her. "It makes people think I'm a bad boy. Or possibly that I have a bad back. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#humor

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself. ↗

— Ethel Barrymore

#humor #humor

I think you and he need to talk. And once you do, I won’t have to worry about being jumped like a felon again.” Blay frowned. “He and I have nothing to say to each other—” “With all due respect, the ligature marks around my neck would suggest otherwise. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor

Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians--except for the occasional mountain lion steak. ↗

— Ted Nugent

#humor #hunting #meat #vegetarians #humor

Danzhol. The one with the marriage proposal and the objections to the town charter in central Monsea. "Bacon," Bitterblue muttered. "Bacon!" she repeated, then carefully made her way up the spiral stairs. ↗

— Kristin Cashore

#bitterblue #humor #humor

What if I shave?" he said. "I look much better when I'm shaved. My cousin will vouch for that—do I not look almost handsome when I shave, Edward? " He didn't wait for the duke's reply but turned earnestly back to Prudence. "Do you think you could marry me if I shaved? ↗

— Anne Gracie

#humor #romance #humor

Alone-sex didn't count. It's like the difference between thinking to yourself or having a good conversation with someone----the pleasure is in the exchange." -Liberty Jones ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#liberty-jones #sex #sugar-daddy #humor

Did he mean me or Jenny Mullendore was a slut?" Joanne wondered. "Because honestly, I don't see how she has the time for slut activities with those two preschoolers of hers. Me, I've got lots of time. ↗

— Nora Roberts

#humor

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. ↗

— Fran Lebowitz

#humor

Ain't No Drama Like Bedroom Drama ↗

— Renata D. Johnson

#friendships #humor #love #relationships #sex