#hum

Minsk! How pissed-off that sounded! It was great. You could scare the bejayzus out of someone if you said it right. ↗

— Marian Keyes

#swear-words #humor

I am a socially akward man-dork"-Nick ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#humor

Preston, I don't think this creature could ever find its way into your head. Quite apart from anything else, it seems pretty crowded and complicated to me. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#mind #humor

One horse-laugh is worth ten-thousand syllogisms. ↗

— H.L. Mencken

#rhetoric #humor

Like father like son, like mother like daughter! ↗

— Jamaica Kincaid

#humor

We were developing a machine that used egg white, heat and sugar to synthesize methanol when a power surge caused an implosion. Owens was meringued. By the time we chipped him out the poor chap had expired. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#humor

Sebastian,” Katarina said, turning to her nephew. “You’ve grown.” “It happens,” Sebastian quipped, flashing her his usual lopsided grin. “Goodness,” she said with smile, “you’ll be a danger to the ladies soon.” Harry very nearly rolled his eyes. Sebastian had already made conquests of nearly all the girls in the village near Hesslewhite. He must give off some sort of scent, because the females positively fell at his feet. It would have been appalling, except that the girls couldn’t all dance with Sebastian. And Harry was more than happy to be the nearest man standing when the smoke cleared. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #humor

I totally bought you as a girl," says Marisol. "I'll double check with Frances later, but by the sounds of things, you seem to have no balls. ↗

— Dana Reinhardt

#girls #guys #humor #sexual #voice

I heard you showed some backbone. I decided to visit in the vain hope that you might be turning interesting. ↗

— Kimberly Frost

#humor #humor

Those women like to see their tongues dance. ↗

— Ray Bradbury

#humor