#ian

Did someone just call me the wine dude?” he asked in a lazy drawl. “It’s Bacchus, please. Or Mr. Bacchus. Or Lord Bacchus. Or, sometimes, Oh-My-Gods-Please-Don’t-Kill-Me, Lord Bacchus. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#dionysus #gods #humor #names #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians

This college would probably have the same problem as the last one did." I frowned, "What's that?" "Homework. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #rose #spirit-bound #vampire-academy #vampires

Avery worries about her, too, so Lissa's in good hands. Avery's pretty amazing." I gave him a scathing look. "Amazing? Do you like her or something?" I hadn't forgotten Avery's comment about leaving the door unlocked for him. "Of course I like her. She's a great person." "No, I mean like. Not like." "Oh, I see," he said, rolling his eyes. "We're dealing with elementary school definitions of 'like'. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#blood-promise #rose-hathaway #vampire-academy #school

Adrian was easily distractible by wacky topics and shiny objects. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #sydney-sage #humor

I’m half Italian.” “Which half?” the words were out before Tessa could stop them. Was she flirting with him? She never flirted with men. His lips curved in a slow, sexy smile that made her heart trip. “From the waist down. ↗

— Pamela Clare

#tessa-humor #humor

When we were almost to the other campus, I felt the weird nausea hit me. I called a warning to Christian, just as a Strigoi grabbed him. But Christian was fast. Flames wreathed the Strigoi's head. He screamed and released Christian, trying frantically to put the flames out. The Strigoi never saw me coming with the stake. The whole thing took under a minute. Christian and I exchanged looks. Yeah. We were badasses. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #rose #vampire-academy #humor

A whizzpopper!" cried the BFG, beaming at her. "Us giants is making whizzpoppers all the time! Whizzpopping is a sign of happiness. It is music in our ears! You surely is not telling me that a little whizzpopping if forbidden among human beans? ↗

— Roald Dahl

#children-s #farting #friendly #gas #giant

Librarians are the secret masters of the world. They control information. Don't ever piss one off. ↗

— Spider Robinson

#librarians #humor

Why on earth would you buy a car like this if you can't drive a stick? There are dozens of cars--new cars--that have automatic transmission. It'd be a million times easier." Adrian shrugged. "I like the color. It matches my living room. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #sydney-sage #humor

Since you and Crispin are now finished and I have a few hours to kill, how about that shag?” he asked with heavy irony. “Bite me,” I sighed, gathering up the pages. He winked. “Of course. My second-favorite thing to do in bed. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#humor #ian #humor