#id

If happiness truly consisted in physical ease and freedom from care, then the happiest individual would not be either a man or a woman; it would be, I think, an American cow. ↗

— William Lyon Phelps

#care #consisted #cow #ease #either

Whenever it is possible, a boy should choose some occupation which he should do even if he did not need the money. ↗

— William Lyon Phelps

#choose #did #even #money #need

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. ↗

— Emo Philips

#asked #bicycle #every #every night #forgive

I guess I'm afraid to retire because I don't know what I would do. I don't know what my talent is. So I don't know. So maybe I'm afraid to stop, but I've got to stop. ↗

— Regis Philbin

#because #got #guess #i #know

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. ↗

— Emo Philips

#door #friend #i #imaginary #kid

I think Christmas is about celebration and come on, on the inside everyone wants to dance. ↗

— TobyMac

#celebration #christmas #come #dance #everyone

Always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said: 'A truck!' ↗

— Emo Philips

#grandfather #last #remember #said #truck

I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!' ↗

— Emo Philips

#asked #father #girlfriend #had #hello

I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!' ↗

— Emo Philips

#another man #bed #crushed #discovered #get

It's nice that people want to compliment you in some superficial way, but I've never considered that that's how I might be categorized. I guess it's better than being called ugly. ↗

— Ryan Phillippe

#better #called #categorized #compliment #considered