#ip

In WASP families, if you don't get along with someone, you have as little to do with them as possible. In Jewish families, you move next door, to make them as miserable as possible. ↗

— Doreen Orion

#culture #culture-critique #family #family-drama #family-relationships

Stay fit and live long and prosper, but write your own obituary now, while you can, just in case. ↗

— Jill Conner Browne

#mississippi #humor

Safety tip. When you see smoke run, never wait for fire. ↗

— Danielle Sibarium

#safety #humor

...You have any suggestions, make them. I'm in charge but humble. No need to salute when you see me." Fraser said, "Mind if we snicker every once in a while behind your back?" "Hell, no," I said. "Everyone else does. ↗

— Robert B. Parker

#humor #leadership #spenser #humor

I don't do relationships because I don't want to love and lose myself. ↗

— J.C. Reed

#love #relationship #romance #surrender-your-love #humor

So there I was, with the two hottest girls on campus, having lunch. I was "the man", the envy of every other guy in our school. Buddy, I was miserable." -Bryce Loski ↗

— Wendelin Van Draanen

#flipped #humor #humor

You've got an awfully kissable mouth. ↗

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

#flapper #humor #kiss #kissing #kissing-quotes

I profess not to know how women’s hearts are wooed and won. To me they have always been matters of riddle and admiration. Some seem to have but one vulnerable point, or door of access; while others have a thousand avenues, and may be captured in a thousand different ways. It is a great triumph of skill to gain the former, but a still greater proof of generalship to maintain possession of the latter, for man must battle for his fortress at every door and window. He who wins a thousand common hearts is therefore entitled to some renown; but he who keeps undisputed sway over the heart of a coquette is indeed a hero. ↗

— Washington Irving

#courtship #humor #humor-relationships #women #humor

Are Cady and O'Neill Ever going to get together?" Those amber eyes weighed me heavily, and then he answered my question with a question. "Do you think they should?" "Well I said, "they've been through an awful lot together. And if there's only one book left, it kind of seems like they're running out of time ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor

You're not having sex with him. I know these guys, and you don't. I'm trusting you with Claudia Reeshman. You need to trust me about Dean Robillard." She wouldn't let him off that easily. "You're looking for a wife. Maybe I'm just looking for a little fun." "If you need fun," he shot back, 'I'll give you fun." She was stunned. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#sexy #humor