#ironic

But she was seventeen now and not actually dumb. She knew that you could love somebody more than anything and still not love the person all that much, if you were busy with other things. ↗

— Jonathan Franzen

#business

(About sweeping).... What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humorous #ironic #irony #laughable #change

When you’re married, you’re privy to the misunderstanding. When you’re not married, it’s overrated.” I try to smile. “You rush in, headlong, full of dreams and wishes, so far removed from reality that you never even realize you’ve married into a family and the Navy. One refers to you as the girl from L.A., and the other refers to you as the dependent spouse. ↗

— Katherine Owen

#dreams

That’s what I told them. I said any girl who goes to such lengths to preserve her life isn't going to be interested in throwing it away with both hands. And then there’s her family to think of. Her mother, her sister, and all those… cousins. By the way he lingers on the word “cousins,” I can tell he knows that Gale and I don’t share a family tree. ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#family

Morale was deteriorating and it was all Yossarian's fault. The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them. ↗

— Joseph Heller

#ironic #rights #war #wwii #yossarian

If anything attacked us, we could just panic at it until it went away. ↗

— Seanan McGuire

#funny #ironic #rosemary-and-rue #seanan-mcguire #funny

My mother was an angel," I blurted. "A guardian angel." Kaidan began to chuckle. "What's so funny?" I asked. "You. You're a walking contradiction. Horns and a halo. I don't belive it. ↗

— Wendy Higgins

#kaidan-and-anna #funny

Fate has a twisted sense of humor. ↗

— Amelia Atwater-Rhodes

#humor #ironic #humor

We just lost our electricity. You want to tell me what’s so funny about that?” “It’s not exactly funny. It’s more of a good news/bad news situation.” “In that case, hit me with the good news first.” “They’re both sort of rolled up into one.” “Stop stalling.” “All right. Now don’t get mad, but . . .” Smothered laughter drifted toward him. “Cal . . . I’m naked. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#ironic #funny

Quickly look down, now you tell me, when you were little did you ever imagine that you'd be wearing those shoes? Mind blowing isn't it? ↗

— Neil Leckman

#imagination