#ironic

We just lost our electricity. You want to tell me what’s so funny about that?” “It’s not exactly funny. It’s more of a good news/bad news situation.” “In that case, hit me with the good news first.” “They’re both sort of rolled up into one.” “Stop stalling.” “All right. Now don’t get mad, but . . .” Smothered laughter drifted toward him. “Cal . . . I’m naked. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#ironic #funny

Quickly look down, now you tell me, when you were little did you ever imagine that you'd be wearing those shoes? Mind blowing isn't it? ↗

— Neil Leckman

#imagination

Most of the time-- 99 percent of the time-- you just don't know how and why the threads are looped together, and that's okay. Do a good thing and something bad happens. Do a bad thing and something good happens. Do nothing and everything explodes. ↗

— Lauren Oliver

#ironic #life

There ain't no devil, only God when he's drunk. ↗

— Tom Waits

#music #music

He had not the makings of that honest man to whom success comes naturally. ↗

— James Jones

#witty #nature

He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be. ↗

— Colin Quinn

#also #dry #feel #funny #good

(About sweeping).... What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humorous #ironic #irony #laughable #change

That’s what I told them. I said any girl who goes to such lengths to preserve her life isn't going to be interested in throwing it away with both hands. And then there’s her family to think of. Her mother, her sister, and all those… cousins. By the way he lingers on the word “cousins,” I can tell he knows that Gale and I don’t share a family tree. ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#family

My mother was an angel," I blurted. "A guardian angel." Kaidan began to chuckle. "What's so funny?" I asked. "You. You're a walking contradiction. Horns and a halo. I don't belive it. ↗

— Wendy Higgins

#kaidan-and-anna #funny

Fate has a twisted sense of humor. ↗

— Amelia Atwater-Rhodes

#humor #ironic #humor