#is

Joy, not sorrow. Laughter, not tears. Life, not death. Love, not blame. ↗

— Lisa Schroeder

#optimism #positivism #death

I’d kill for any one of my friends. Thankfully for the overpopulated prison system, I don’t have any friends. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#kill #murder #overpopulated #overpopulation #prison

Wisdom is one of the few things that looks bigger the further away it is. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#wisdom #witches #humor

It’s ironic that as scientists that don’t believe in god, were the ones that are closest to god. ↗

— Hiromu Arakawa

#humor #humor

She can't afford to commit more troops,' Holly whispered. 'The gate is her priority, and she needs to have as many Berserkers watching her back as possible. We are secondary at this point.' 'That will be her undoing,' Artemis gasped, already suffering under the weight of the flak jacket. 'Artemis Fowl will never be secondary.' 'I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?' said Holly. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#captain-short #eight #eoin-colfer #holly-short #humor

The only thing most people do better than anyone else is read their own handwriting. ↗

— John Adams

#penmanship #specialists #humor

He soon acquired the forlorn look that one sees in vegetarians. ↗

— Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

#vegetarianism #humor

I'm an American, our names don't mean shit. ↗

— Quentin Tarantino

#humorous-quotations #humor

Hey!" I turned, crossing my arms and glaring. "I was talking to him!" Tybalt eyed me with amusement, which just made me glare harder. "No, you were inciting him to stab you with a toothpick. Again, the difference is small, but I think it matters. ↗

— Seanan McGuire

#humor #san-francisco #humor

Life isn't all fricasseed frogs and eel pie. ↗

— C.S. Lewis

#pessimism #puddleglum #humor