#itch

I haven't got the kind of discipline where I can turn my emotion inside out and then just switch off. It affects me fairly profoundly and I don't like putting myself through that kind of mincer every day. ↗

— Jimmy Nail

#day #discipline #emotion #every #every day

She didn't care that people called her a bitch. 'It's just another word for feminist,' she told me with pride. ↗

— Gayle Forman

#funny #if-i-stay #funny

Some girls want to be a princess when they grow up. I wanted to be in a bad bitch girl gang. ↗

— Natalia Kills

#bitch #funny #funny

I can’t believe I’ve missed this sport. It’s all about fingering holes and caressing balls. ↗

— K.A. Mitchell

#funny #k-a-mitchell #sport #funny

And you are the girl's bitch, forever. ↗

— Alison Goodman

#eona #forever #funny #ido #yuso

Your pants are unseasonably bitch. I beg your pardon. Excuse me, madam, but you are sitting on my erection. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#erection #funny #funny

Its a good thing I'm here, big guy, because you have shit taste in friends." Okay, I said the last part intentionally, knowing how Aaron would react. And right on cue, Aaron said: "He's not my friend!" "Well, I guess that settles it, Nick. You're not going to be rebound guy because, despite your predictions of woe, Aaron and I aren't breaking up. I'd say that we'll see you around, but I doubt that'll happen since you don't even rate friend status. ↗

— Cardeno C.

#funny-as-hell #m-m-romance #funny

Zen cuts straight through the Quidditch match in progress and almost gets taken down by a Beater hurling a Nerf quaffle right at his machopartes. ↗

— Megan McCafferty

#harry-potter-related #quidditch #funny

I'm sitting in the bleachers, watching longingly as all the boys and umbumped girls in my Personal Health and Fitness class play Muggle Quidditch. I don't even like the game very much, I think it's silly, but I so miss physical activity that I'd be thrilled if I could run around the gymnasium with a broom between my legs, chasing after the human snitch wearing a gold pinny. ↗

— Megan McCafferty

#harry-potter-related #quidditch #funny

She was prisoner to an old, forgotten god, kept from her home, probably never to see it again, and yet... the way she sat, poised, calm, clear like a full moon night, she seemed much happier than me, the witch who contained them all, the jailer with the magic key. ↗

— Sarah Diemer

#god #moon #sea #witch #home