#jam

I offered you a choice, and you took it." I shot him what I hoped was a truly scathing glare. "Some choice. I was dying. Some drunk shot me from a pickup. Why wouldn't I have just woken up with gonorrhea like every other girl of loose moral fiber? ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #gabriel #gonorrhea #jane-jameson #molly-harper

I grabbed my purse, which was conveniently place by the front door. Gabriel was such a considerate abductor/host. He even left the front door unpadlocked. ↗

— Molly Harper

#gabriel #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #funny

Don't worry about being nervous. A lot of vampires have trouble with this from time to time. It happens to everyone." "If I was a forty-year-old man suffering from erectile dysfunction, that would be a great comfort to me, thanks. ↗

— Molly Harper

#erectile-dysfunction #funny #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs

He's the meanest one. We call him..Byrd the Turd ↗

— Marthe Jocelyn

#funny #james #marthe-jocelyn #funny

Amy, Dan, and Nellie were sitting at a table in a conference room, examining reproductions of Franklin documents-some so rare, the librarians told her, the only copies existed in Paris. "Yeah, here's a rare grocery list," Dan muttered. "Wow. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#cahill #humor #rare #sarcasm #humor

Jack leaned over, “Ever get the impression that these women are way out of our league?” “I shot the last guy who said that to me. ↗

— Julie James

#jack-pallas #julie-james #nick-mccall #love

Our tongues can’t compete with the rapid thinking of our brains, our words come out slow and slurred. The pen is our haven. There is a lot of fear buried into that little pen. It holds all of our agony, our torment, our blood and our heaven. ↗

— Coco J. Ginger

#fear #jamie-weise #love #passion #pen

Not one word about proposals, no matter how much she pushes,” I told my friends. “No matter what she says or how loud she cries, don’t try to throw that up as a distraction.” Gabriel’s lips twitched. “I don’t think it’s going to be that bad. It’s one woman against five supernatural creatures... And Zeb.” “You laugh because you haven’t heard my mother’s thirty-minute verbal dissertation on appropriate seasonal flower choices. We’re better off letting her yell at us for being dirty, premarital fornicators. ↗

— Molly Harper

#gabriel #jane-jamison #molly-harper #vampire #funny

Can we swim?" Sky asks, resting her chin on my shoulder. "Did you bring a suit?" Please say no, please say no... "Yeah." Crap. "Great. ↗

— Jolene Perry

#jameson-sky #lol #such-a-guy-thing #lol

History is an angel being blown backwards into the future ↗

— Laurie Anderson

#song-lyrics #walter-benjamin #song-lyrics