#james

What was that?" Rich combined the pain of a crooked arm with the indignity of a flicked ear. I could only hope the situation didn't escalate to the dreaded purple nurple. ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #purple-nurple

Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory. ↗

— Molly Harper

#jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #vampire #funny

I offered you a choice, and you took it." I shot him what I hoped was a truly scathing glare. "Some choice. I was dying. Some drunk shot me from a pickup. Why wouldn't I have just woken up with gonorrhea like every other girl of loose moral fiber? ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #gabriel #gonorrhea #jane-jameson #molly-harper

I grabbed my purse, which was conveniently place by the front door. Gabriel was such a considerate abductor/host. He even left the front door unpadlocked. ↗

— Molly Harper

#gabriel #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #funny

Don't worry about being nervous. A lot of vampires have trouble with this from time to time. It happens to everyone." "If I was a forty-year-old man suffering from erectile dysfunction, that would be a great comfort to me, thanks. ↗

— Molly Harper

#erectile-dysfunction #funny #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs

He's the meanest one. We call him..Byrd the Turd ↗

— Marthe Jocelyn

#funny #james #marthe-jocelyn #funny

Jack leaned over, “Ever get the impression that these women are way out of our league?” “I shot the last guy who said that to me. ↗

— Julie James

#jack-pallas #julie-james #nick-mccall #love

Can we swim?" Sky asks, resting her chin on my shoulder. "Did you bring a suit?" Please say no, please say no... "Yeah." Crap. "Great. ↗

— Jolene Perry

#jameson-sky #lol #such-a-guy-thing #lol

Trivia monologue. You are so the man for me. ↗

— Molly Harper

#librarian #trivia #useless-information #vampire-romance #librarians

Wal-mart started selling "Vampire Home Defense Kits", including holy water, crosses, stakes, mallets, and a book of quick blessings to bar vampires from your door. The fact that these kits were generally useless didn't bother me nearly as much as the idea of holy water being sold at wal-mart. ↗

— Molly Harper

#vampire-defense #vampire-romance #vampires #wal-mart #vampire-romance