#jo

I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one. ↗

— Marilyn Monroe

#jokes #like #look #making #mind

Augustus Waters was a self-aggrandizing bastard. But we forgive him. We forgive him not because he had a heart as figuratively good as his literal one sucked, or because he knew more about how to hold a cigarette than any nonsmoker in history, or because he got eighteen years when he should've gotten more.' 'Seventeen,' Gus corrected. 'I'm assuming you've got some time, you interupting bastard. 'I'm telling you,' Isaac continued, 'Augustus Waters talked so much that he'd interupt you at his own funeral. And he was pretentious: Sweet Jesus Christ, that kid never took a piss without pondering the abundant metaphorical resonances of human waste production. And he was vain: I do not believe I have ever met a more physically attractive person who was more acutely aware of his own physical attractiveness. 'But I will say this: When the scientists of the future show up at my house with robot eyes and they tell me to try them on, I will tell the scientists to screw off, because I do not want to see a world without him.' I was kind of crying by then. ↗

— John Green

#tfios #the-fault-in-our-stars #forgiveness

'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip. ↗

— Scott Adams

#downsizing #during #job #job security #major

A contented mind is the greatest blessing a man can enjoy in this world. ↗

— Joseph Addison

#contented #contented mind #enjoy #greatest #greatest blessing

If you're not on a major label today, you're not gonna get played. They've got the market sewed up. ↗

— Mickey Gilley

#gonna #got #label #major #major label

The greatest sweetener of human life is Friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment, is a secret which but few discover. ↗

— Joseph Addison

#enjoyment #few #friendship #greatest #highest

I see no reason to keep silent about my enjoyment of the sound of my own voice as I work. ↗

— Muriel Spark

#enjoyment #i #i see #keep #my own

Too few rejoice at a friend's good fortune. ↗

— Aeschylus

#fortune #friend #good #good fortune #rejoice

Vegas has the Whitman's Sampler of audiences. They come from all different places, so you have to do some crowd psychology. You have to find the heartbeat of the room. It doesn't shift my jokes, but it shifts my timing and my attention. ↗

— Hal Sparks

#audiences #come #crowd #different #different places

Our sages of blessed memory have said that we must not enjoy any pleasure in this world without reciting a blessing. ↗

— Shmuel Y. Agnon

#blessed #blessing #enjoy #memory #must