#k

When I got enough confidence, the stage was gone. When I was sure of losing, I won. When I needed people the most, they left me. When I learnt to dry my tears, I found a shoulder to cry on. And when I mastered the art of hating, somebody started loving me. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#art

I’m not going to lecture you on the error of your ways. Not until you fetch me a podium and a microphone. I’ll also need a screen, a projector, and a laser pointer. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#errors #funny #humor #laser #lecture

Another relative?" Valek asked. A broad smile stretched Moon Man's lips. "Yes. I am her mother's uncle's wife's third cousin." --Valek and Moon Man ↗

— Maria V. Snyder

#valek #humor

Percy was getting tired of water. If he said that aloud, he would probably get kicked out of Poseidon’s Junior Sea Scouts, but he didn’t care. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#percy-jackson #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians #poseidon #the-heroes-of-olympus #the-mark-of-athena

No. Don't distract me with your sexy talk. ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#archer-cross #hex-hall #humor #rachel-hawkins #sexy

Far be it from me to keep a woman from her book. That could become dangerous ↗

— Elizabeth Hunter

#humor #humor

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#classic-insult #drama-critic #humor #katharine-hepburn #humor

This is what it's all been about with you," he said in an even tone. "All the fear, all the running. The nightmares." When she nodded, he said, "You called him the devil." "He is." What are you thinking, Scot? "But you... married him?" MacRieve's disgusted with me. "Basically? Yes." "Ceremony and everything?" She swallowed. "He tricked me into it. I-I was only sixteen." A muscle ticked in his cheek and his irises grew pale. "Then know this..." She stopped breathing. "Lass, I'm about to make you a widow-- ↗

— Kresley Cole

#lykae #valkyrie #humor

She had not made a decision to give up sex, only the clamor of romance, because it was exhausting her, doing her no good and too much harm... ↗

— Michelle Herman

#humor #romance #sex #humor

Hazel!” he yelled. “That box! Open it!” She hesitated, then saw the box he meant. Te label read WARNING. DO NOT OPEN. “Open it!” Leo yelled again. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#heroes-of-olympus #humor #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians #the-mark-of-athena #humor