#ken

Whenever he looks at me with those big brown eyes, I feel like giving him a nut,” she said. She even started calling the squirrels running around in the park Mr. Whitmans. ↗

— Kerstin Gier

#funny #likeness #squirrels #funny

Paddy Eagan, stay away from falling signs for a bit and you'll be as right as rain come the weekend. ↗

— Elizabeth C. Bunce

#injury #signs #weekend #funny

JESSICA: When did you last go to London? HUGH: When I read a Dickens novel. That was when I resolved never to travel there. ↗

— Bauvard

#britain #dickens #funny #humor #london

Have you ever had a girlfriend, Kenji?" "What?" He looks mortally offended. "Do I LOOK like the kind of guy who's never had a girlfriend? Have you even MET me? ↗

— Tahereh Mafi

#kenji #humor

It was then that my gaze happened to fall on the bookcase, on the gap there, where the old paperback of "Nine Stories" had fallen flat. "Where's the thing?" I said. "What thing?" "The mesh. My mesh." She shrugged. "I tossed it." "Tossed it? Where? What do you mean?" In the next moment I was in the kitchen, flipping open the lid of the trash can, only to find it empty. "You mean outside?" I shouted. "In the dumpster?" When I came thundering back into the room, she still hadn't moved. "Jesus, what were you thinking? That was mine. I wanted that. I wanted to keep it." Her lips barely moved. "It was dirty. ↗

— T.C. Boyle

#dysfunctional-relationships #passive-aggression #shaming #home

The last excuse that I'll claim, I was a boy who loved a woman like a little girl. ↗

— Ron Pope

#couples #heartbroken #love #relationships #love

If in this lifetime, I wont get to have you, I'll make sure that if I meet you in my next life I wont have to think twice on saying that "I waited a lifetime to say I love you... ↗

— Anjali Banerjee

#life

Nothing reminds us of an awakening more than rain. ↗

— Dejan Stojanovic

#dejan-stojanovic #literature #literature-quotes #poetry #poetry-quotes

Christ-likeness cannot be self-efforted" ~R. Alan Woods [2007] ↗

— R. Alan Woods

#r-alan-woods #self-effort #r-alan-woods

Invisible guns, huh?" Kenji smirks. "That's cute. I don't think I ever went through that phase. ↗

— Tahereh Mafi

#kenji #humor