#l

I want to go to sleep in my time machine and wake up eight hours in the future. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#future #sleep #time-machine #funny

Women can fake an orgasm, but men can fake an entire relationship. ↗

— Sharon Stone

#inspirational

Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#holding-hands #humor #life #love #lovers

Flowers lead to books, which lead to thinking and not thinking and then more flowers and music, music. Then many more flowers and many more books. ↗

— Maira Kalman

#music

Being with her I feel a pain, like a frozen knife stuck in my chest. An awful pain, but the funny thing is I'm thankful for it. It's like that frozen pain and my very existence are one. The pain is an anchor, mooring me here. ↗

— Haruki Murakami

#pain #funny

Aside from the obvious, Francesca, what do you want in return for supplying information?” Bones asked, getting back to the subject. “You to take me,” she replied at once. “Not gonna happen!” I spat, squeezing him possessively. Three sets of widened eyes fixed on me. That’s when I realized that what I had a firm grip on was no longer his hand. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#love #vampire #funny

If I stand here, I can see the Little Red Haired girl when she comes out of her house... Of course, if she sees me peeking around this tree, she'll think I'm the dumbest person in the world... But if I don't peek around the tree, I'll never see her... Which means I probably AM the dumbest person in the world... which explains why I'm standing in a batch of poison oak. ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#funny

When a business group tells us there is nothing wrong with the environment, naturally they may have good arguments, but we are also sceptical, because we know that they have an interest in these things. ↗

— Bjorn Lomborg

#because #business #environment #good #group

Love one person at a time, that’s the motto I’ll try to get my clones to live by. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clones #funny #humor #love #motto

The next time you're planning to injure yourself to get my attention, just remeber that a little sweet talk works wonders." - City of Bones (said by Jace Wayland) ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-bones #entertainment #funny #humor #jace-wayland