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If desire causes suffering, it may be because we do not desire wisely, or that we are inexpert at obtaining what we desire. Instead of hiding our heads in a prayer cloth and building walls against temptation, why not get better at fulfilling desire? Salvation is for the feeble, that's what I think. I don't want salvation, I want life, all of life, the miserable as well as the superb. If the gods would tax ecstasy, then I shall pay; however, I shall protest their taxes at each opportunity, and if Woden or Shiva or Buddha or that Christian fellow--what's his name?--cannot respect that, then I'll accept their wrath. At least I will have tasted the banquet that they have spread before me on this rich, round planet, rather than recoiling from it like a toothless bunny. I cannot believe that the most delicious things were placed here merely to test us, to tempt us, to make it the more difficult for us to capture the grand prize: the safety of the void. To fashion of life such a petty game is unworthy of both men and gods. ↗
I can’t quite shake this feeling that we live in a world gone wrong, that there are all these feelings you’re not supposed to have because there’s no reason to anymore. But still they’re there, stuck somewhere, a flaw that evolution hasn’t managed to eliminate yet. I want so badly to feel bad about getting pregnant. But I can’t, don’t dare to. Just like I didn’t dare tell Jack that I was falling in love with him, wanting to be a modern woman who’s supposed to be able to handle the casual nature of these kinds of relationships. I’m never supposed to say, to Jack or anyone else, ‘What makes you think I’m so rich that you can steal my heart and it won’t mean a thing?’ Sometimes I think that I was forced to withdraw into depression, because it was the only rightful protest I could throw in the face of a world that said it was all right for people to come and go as they please, that there were simply no real obligations left. Deceit and treachery in both romantic and political relationships is nothing new, but at one time, it was bad, callous, and cold to hurt somebody. Now it’s just the way things go, part of the growth process. Really nothing is surprising. After a while, meaning and implication detach themselves from everything. If one can be a father and assume no obligations, it follows that one can be a boyfriend and do nothing at all. Pretty soon you can add friend, acquaintance, co-worker, and just about anyone else to the long list of people who seem to be part of your life, though there is no code of conduct that they must adhere to. Pretty soon, it seems unreasonable to be bothered or outraged by much of anything because, well, what did you expect? ↗
PERNIKAHAN ADALAH -1- Pernikahan adalah akad atau ikatan. Akad untuk beribadah, akad untuk membangun rumah tangga sakinah mawadah wa rahmah. -2- Pernikahan adalah akad untuk saling mencintai, akad untuk saling menghormati dan menghargai. -3- Pernikahan adalah akad untuk saling menguatkan keimanan, akad untuk saling meningkatkan ketakwaan, akad untuk mengokohkan ketaatan kepada Tuhan, akad untuk berjalan pada tuntunan Kenabian. -4- Pernikahan adalah akad untuk saling menerima apa adanya, akad untuk saling membantu dan meringankan beban, akad untuk saling menasihati, akad untuk setia kepada pasangannya dalam suka dan duka, dalam kesulitan dan kesuksesan, dalam sakit dan sehat, dalam tawa dan air mata. -5- Pernikahan berarti akad untuk meniti hari-hari dalam kebersamaan, akad untuk saling melindungi, akad untuk saling memberikan rasa aman, akad untuk saling mempercayai, akad untuk saling menutupi aib, akad untuk saling mencurahkan perasaan, akad untuk berlomba melaksanakan peran kerumahtanggaan. -6- Pernikahan adalah akad untuk mudah mengakui kesalahan, akad untuk saling meminta maaf, akad untuk saling memaafkan, akad untuk tidak menyimpan dendam dan kemarahan, akad untuk tidak mengungkit-ungkit kelemahan, kekurangan, dan kesalahan. -7- Pernikahan adalah akad atau ikatan. Akad untuk tidak melakukan pelanggaran, akad untuk meninggalkan kemaksiatan, akad untuk tidak saling menyakiti hati dan perasaan, akad untuk tidak saling menorehkan luka, akad untuk tidak saling menyakiti badan pasangan. -8- Pernikahan adalah akad untuk mesra dalam perkataan, akad untuk santun dalam pergaulan, akad untuk indah dalam penampilan, akad untuk sopan dalam mengungkapkan keinginan, akad untuk berlaku lembut kepada pasangan, akad untuk memberikan senyum termanis, akad untuk berlaku romantis dan selalu berwajah manis. -9- Pernikahan adalah akad untuk saling mengembangkan potensi diri, akad untuk adanya saling keterbukaan yang melegakan, akad untuk saling menumpahkan kasih sayang, akad untuk saling merindukan, akad untuk saling membahagiakan, akad untuk tidak adanya pemaksaan kehendak, akad untuk tidak saling membiarkan, akad untuk tidak saling mengkhianati, akad untuk tidak saling meninggalkan, akad untuk tidak saling mendiamkan. -10- Pernikahan adalah akad untuk menebarkan kebajikan, akad untuk mencari rejeki yang halal dan thayib, akad untuk menjaga hubungan kekeluargaan, akad untuk berbakti kepada orang tua dan mertua, akad untuk mencetak generasi berkualitas, akad untuk siap menjadi bapak dan ibu bagi anak-anak, akad untuk membangun peradaban masa depan. -11- Pernikahan, adalah akad untuk segala yang bernama kebaikan ! ↗
Freuchen tells how one day, after coming home hungry from an unsuccessful walrus-hunting expedition, he found one of the successful hunters dropping off several hundred pounds of meat. He thanked him profusely. The man objected indignantly: "Up in our country we are human!" said the hunter. "And since we are human we help each other. We don't like to hear anybody say thanks for that. What I get today you may get tomorrow. Up here we say that by gifts one makes slaves and by whips one makes dogs. ... The refusal to calculate credits and debits can be found throughout the anthropological literature on egalitarian hunting societies. Rather than seeing himself as human because he could make economic calculations, the hunter insisted that being truly human meant refusing to make such calculations, refusing to measure or remember who had given what to whom, for the precise reason that doing so would inevitably create a world where we began "comparing power with power, measuring, calculating" and reducing each other to slaves or dogs through debt. It's not that he, like untold millions of similar egalitarian spirits throughout history, was unaware that humans have a propensity to calculate. If he wasn't aware of it, he could not have said what he did. Of course we have a propensity to calculate. We have all sorts of propensities. In any real-life situation, we have propensities that drive us in several different contradictory directions simultaneously. No one is more real than any other. The real question is which we take as the foundation of our humanity, and therefore, make the basis of our civilization. ↗
My problem is I love sex. No joking I really love sex. Life without sex is unbearable for me. As a child my mum says I loved men and hated women. I use to smile at men when I was in the pram and offer them lollipops or sweeties. I guess it is in my genes, my little weakness. I can live without the Valium and Vodka but not my sex. To me my choice is simple men or Paradise and I love them both. I cannot make that choice. It is like there is some evil force driving me to flirt and sleep around. No one man has ever been enough for me and now I have to live like a nun in rehab. I am not bold I am just misunderstood. No, don’t laugh it is an illness and an exhausting one I am so tired, so very tired. ↗
... there had been the two little boys. Now they were gone, too. They loved her and called her and sent her e-mails and would still snuggle up to her to be petted when they were in the mood, but they were men, and though they would always be at the center of her life, she was no longer at the center of theirs. ↗
The Mistake With the mistake your life goes in reverse. Now you can see exactly what you did Wrong yesterday and wrong the day before And each mistake leads back to something worse And every nuance of your hypocrisy Towards yourself, and every excuse Stands solidly on the perspective lines And there is perfect visibility. What an enlightenment. The colonnade Rolls past on either side. You needn't move. The statues of your errors brush your sleeve. You watch the tale turn back — and you're dismayed. And this dismay at this, this big mistake Is made worse by the sight of all those who Knew all along where these mistakes would lead — Those frozen friends who watched the crisis break. Why didn't they say? Oh, but they did indeed — Said with a murmur when the time was wrong Or by a mild refusal to assent Or told you plainly but you would not heed. Yes, you can hear them now. It hurts. It's worse Than any sneer from any enemy. Take this dismay. Lay claim to this mistake. Look straight along the lines of this reverse. ↗
I'm not talking about commitment to romantic relationships. I'm talking about commitment to things: houses, jobs, neighborhoods. Having a job that requires a contract. Paying a mortgage. I think when men hear that women want a commitment, they think it means commitment to a romantic relationship, but that's not it. It's a commitment to not floating around anymore. I want a guy who is entrenched in his own life. ↗
