#la

Anticipatory plagiarism occurs when someone steals your original idea and publishes it a hundred years before you were born. ↗

— Robert K. Merton

#plagiarism #humor

There are some things I don't understand about Jess and never will. No wedding dress. No flowers. No photo album. No champagne. The only thing she got out of her wedding was a husband. (I mean, obviously the husband is the main point when you get married. Absolutely. That goes without saying. But still, not even a new pair of shoes?) ↗

— Sophie Kinsella

#humor

We played for about half an hour before I realized we were actually playing two different games. What I’d thought of as ludo was actually a game called gin rummy, and what Warren was playing seemed to be a mixture of craps and table tennis. Once we started playing by one consistent set of rules, though, the fun was really over. ↗

— Graham Parke

#philosophy #relationships #humor

Luke rose to his feet. "I'm taking five minutes for some air. I'll be back. " He felt them watching him as he made his way to the front doorsall of them, even Amatis. Senhor Monteverde whispered something to his wife in Portuguese; Luke caught "lobo", the word for "wolf", in the stream of words. They probably think I'm going outside to run in circles and bark at the moon. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #luke #humor

The only way to cry your eyes out and laugh your ass off at the same time is to have your mom or girlfriends present. Without them, the laughing part wouldn't be nearly as fun. ↗

— Shannon L. Alder

#despair #girlfriends #humor #laughing #moms

They'll torture you for months before killing you if you run" Otis shrugged, as if this was an everyday occurrence. ↗

— Heather Brewer

#morbid #otis #run #running #vampire

baloney is flattery so thick it cannot be true; blarney is flatter so thin we like it. ↗

— Monsignor Fulton J. Sheen

#blarney #compliment #flattery #humor #humor

The satisfying sound of bone giving way, as well as his outraged cry, made the you-had-it-coming-asshole angles sing. ↗

— J.A. Saare

#humor #ja-saare #renfield-syndrome #rhiannon #rhiannon-s-laws

The power of unfulfilled desires is the root of all man's slavery ↗

— Paramahansa Yogananda

#slavery

I know a flute player is technically called a "flautist," but something about it sounds a little sketchy, as does "pianist," so I will refrain. ↗

— Julie Halpern

#flautist #flute #geek #humor #music