#la

A brick can be neither good nor bad. A brick just is. And it isn’t, because I just stole it from you, which is good for me, and bad for you.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used as a stand in for a liar’s face. Go on, punch that liar in his face. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used in place of a diamond on a wedding ring. Your wife's probably going to divorce you and take the house anyway, so you might as well give her the first brick.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be pet, like a dog, and taught to shit in my neighbor's yard.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Brick and Blanket could be the names of two characters in a screenplay full of witty dialogue like:
 Brick: Hello!
 Blanket: Hi!
 Brick: How are you?
 Blanket: Good. You?
 Brick: Good. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

My mom's a mad scientist. It's a lot like being a regular scientist, except without worrying about legal or moral limitations, and it's a commom profession among the scientifically inclined supervillain. ↗

— Chelsea Campbell

#mad-scientists #supervillains #funny

Boredom will continue to be an epidemic in the leisure class until public yawning is made profitable in the sick class. ↗

— Bauvard

#class #funny #humor #sickness #funny

I like watching fashion models walk down the runway, do a little turn, and splatter across the windshield of an airliner. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #modeling #funny

I like to write in poorly lit conditions. It allows darkness to creep into my humor, and bad eyesight to excuse me from accountability. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #writing #funny

When the silent flamingo dances pink with desire, I’ll be there, sipping on owl stares and kitten curls. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #cats #curls #dance #dancing