#lass

Lassiter hit pause and clamped a hard hand on his shoulder."Sit the fuck back. Watch and learn." "What? How much I hate rom-coms? How 'bout we just stipulate that and let me go." "You're going to need this." " For my second career as a pussy? ↗

— J.R. Ward

#lassiter #tohr #humor

Tohr jacked forward his in his seat. "What the hell!" As Lassiter's big body cut through the projection onto the screen, a gigantic pair of flapping breasts covered his face and chest. "Adventures in the Milfy Way. A true classic." "It's porn!" "Duh--" "Okay, I am not sitting through this with you" The angel, still standing up. shrugged. "Just wanted to make sure you know what you're missing. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#lassiter #tohr #humor

Tohr took a pull of his beer. “What the hell is this?” “When Harry Met Sally.” Tohr lowered the longneck from his mouth. “What?” “Shut it. After this, we’re going to watch an episode of Moonlighting. Then An Affair to Remember—the old-school one, not that stupidity with Warren Beatty. Then The Princess Bride—” Tohr hit the switch by his hip and straightened the chair up. “Okay. Right. Have fun with this— ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor #lassiter #tohrment #humor

Waitress: "And to drink?" Artemis: "Spring water. Irish, if you have it. And no ice, please. As your ice is no doubt made from tap water, which rather defeats the purpose of spring water. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor

Nothing of importance happened today. ↗

— King George III

#history #humor #humor

And even, if circumstances required, a contingency plan for his contingency plan's contingency plan. ↗

— Frank Beddor

#circumstances #contingency #glass #humor #looking

Love is mysterious and rad, like Steve Perry from Journey ↗

— Diablo Cody

#humor #love #humor

I was a very, very serious child... I was valedictorian of my kindergarten and eighth-grade class. ↗

— Christine Lavin

#class #i #kindergarten #serious #very

I was probably the one who tattled on the class clown. To get in good with the teachers. ↗

— Christine Lavin

#class clown #clown #get #good #i

I quickly, swiftly, reach in, pluck out, and peer into the mirror. 'I am still here.' I am in the glass, in this moment. After this moment, I may not be here; I may be a person who does not know where she is, or why. I leave the kitchen table to bathe, and to dress for church. If only my closet held on its shelves an array of faces I could wear rather than dresses, I would know which face to put on today. As for the dresses, I haven't a clue. ↗

— Tim Cummings

#afterlife #astrology #brothers #children-of-celebrities #class-struggle