#les

It was not that he was feckless, more that he had simply not been around the day they handed out feck. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humorous #wordplay #humor

Liz asked me the other day what I thought about twice baked potatoes. How the fuck should I know? Was I supposed to be thinking about twice baked potatoes all this time? Is this where I went wrong? Are grown men supposed to have an opinion about twice baked potatoes? ↗

— Tara Sivec

#futures-and-frosting #humor #marriage #tara-sivec #humor

Never sleep with a lady only once, especially in the case of an older lady. -'Rhett ↗

— Rowena Cherry

#humor #racy #romance #rules-for-a-rake #sperm-donor

So what if those stupid roosters don't want to crow? If we've learned to live without men, we can learn to live without cocks. ↗

— James Cañón

#humor #james-cañón #magic-realism #mariquita #tales-from-the-town-of-widows

Charles was most comfortable by himself or, if that wasn't possible, with his pack in the wild. Talking for hours in a crowded auditorium was not on any list of things he enjoyed—or things he was good at. At least no one had died. Yet. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#charles-cornick #humor #hunting-ground #public-speaking #humor

Notice how Harry Styles smile is like the Cheshire Cat? And how he is from Cheshire and loves cats... ↗

— Natalie Stenger

#humor #onedirection #humor

I don’t think you’re supposed to be able to get at that information,” said Leslie. “Don’t look,” said Goldstein, peering over Charles’s shoulder. “We don’t know anything about illegal hacking.” He whistled cheerily. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#charles-cornick #fair-game #goldstein #hacking #humor

Greed and desire Not peace, but fire Coveting creation Created damnation Pulled alongside A gate thrown too wide Now our home calls And darkness fall "I rubbed my temples, feeling a headache coming on."A for effort, ladies, but F for clarity. You do realise that your wierd poem things never explain anything", ↗

— Kiersten White

#evie #humor #humor

I'm the first to admit that I don't write right. Now, relax and enjoy the show! The sideshow, that is. ↗

— Lori R. Lopez

#books #eccentric #humor #offbeat #quirky

When life hands you lemons say, "Lemons? What else have you got?" - bumper sticker ↗

— Darynda Jones

#life-lessons #humor