#ling

Stefan spat. "Oh, aye, he fell. O' course, Master Ralon helped him fall, several times. Poor li'l tyke didn't have a chance. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#falling #fighting #humor #humor

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to compute it. ↗

— Steven Pinker

#linguistics #science #humor

There is a tiger in my room,' said Frances. 'Did he bite you?' said Father. 'No,' said Frances. 'Did he scratch you?' said Mother. 'No,' said Frances. 'Then he is a friendly tiger,' said Father. 'He will not hurt you. Go back to sleep. ↗

— Russell Hoban

#children-s-literature #humor #stalling #tigers #humor

Now I understand why King Stannis let the wildlings through the Wall. He means for us to eat them. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#humor #stannis-baratheon #wall #wildlings #humor

I'm just like any other person you can meet and greet on the street and like or not like. I'm not Holden or Humbert. You can really touch me! If you don't believe me, come to Aristod right now. Come hold and hump me! ↗

— Brian Celio

#humbert #humor #salinger #wordplay #humor

No matter how grouchy you're feeling, you'll find the smile more or less healing. It grows in a wreath all around the teeth thus preserving the face from congealing. ↗

— Anthony Euwer

#smiling #humor

We want to fight.” “And I want J.K. Rowling to keep writing in the Potterverse, but I know that’s never going to happen,” I said blithely. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#fallen-legion #fantasy #fiction #humor #j-k-rowling

The thief, as will become apparent, was a special type of thief. This thief was an artist of theft. Other thieves merely stole everything that was not nailed down, but this thief stole the nails as well. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#stealing #thievery #thieves #humor

This “who’s on top” banter continues until one wrestler (who has slyly gone to hide behind a chair) leaps upon his rival with an animal cry. The pair then proceeds to create a series of tableaux that appear to be from the Kama Sutra, Vatsyayana’s ancient Indian textbook of carnal satisfaction. Occasionally, the tension is broken by a wrestler who picks up a large object, such as a table, to throw on the other’s head, as if suddenly disgusted by his forbidden love. ↗

— Lady Arabella Snark

#pro-wrestling #snark #humor

The scariest, most terrifying thing that I fear?" Yes." My Imagination." I thought you were going to say "Fear, itself." Then you have a small imagination." Roland and Eddie ↗

— Stephen King

#gunslinger #roland #the-dark-tower #imagination