#lor

And now you're off to Port Caynn. Watch them sailor lads. They'll have your skirts up and a babe in your belly afore you know what you're about." "Everyone keep warning me about sailors," I complained. "Why can't someone tell the sailors to stay clear of me?" Granny snorted. "Oh, you're the fierce one now! Just take care no one else catches you unawares and knocks you on the nob! ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#grandmother #humor #men #sailors #sex

LADY BRACKNELL Algernon is an extremely, I may almost say an ostentatiously, eligible young man. He has nothing, but he looks everything. What more can one desire? ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #humor

She's easy to lead around, a shiny present here, a pretty compliment there, and you have true love and a popped cherry sacrificed to the god of deception and hormones. Young girls are so ridiculous--so predictably easy. ↗

— Kristin Cast

#love

How can I find the words? Poets have taken them all and left me with nothing to say or do" "Except to teach me for the first time what they meant. ↗

— Dorothy L. Sayers

#love #poetry #love

Austin stood. “All right, I will.” He walked to the door and stopped, his hand on the latch. He gazed back over his shoulder. “That woman you love . . . Do I know her?” Houston forced himself to meet his brother’s gaze. The boy only knew one woman, if he didn’t count the whores in Dusty Flats. “Yeah, you do.” “She never left your side, not for one minute.” “She should have.” “Well, I’m not learned in these matters, but I’d like to think if a woman ever loved me as much as that one loves you ... I’d crawl through hell to be by her side. ↗

— Lorraine Heath

#houston #lorraine-heath #texas-destiny #love

Broke your jaw once before Spilt your blood upon the floor You broke my leg in return So let's sit back and watch the bed burn Well love sticks sweat drips Break the lock if it don't fit A kick in the teeth is good for some A kiss with a fist is better than none ↗

— Florence Welch

#kiss-with-a-fist #the-machine #love

When you take advice from a cat, there are always consequences. ↗

— Elora Bishop

#cat #elora-bishop #humor #sappho-s-fables #humor

NASA spent millions of dollars inventing the ball-point pen so they could write in space. The Russians took a pencil. ↗

— Will Chabot

#science #space-exploration #humor

The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above "functionally retarded". ↗

— Tucker Max

#humor #intelligence #humor

I believe the defining moment was when certain persons, who shall remain nameless, objected to my fuchsia silk striped waistcoat. I loved that waistcoat. I put my foot down, right then and there; I do not mind telling you!" To punctuate his deeply offended feelings, he stamped one silver-and-pearl-decorated high heel firmly. "No one tells me what I can and cannot wear!" He snapped up a lace fan from where it lay on a hall table and fanned himself vigorously with it for emphasis. ↗

— Gail Carriger

#lord-akeldama #humor