#luc

Two cannibals were eating a comedian, and one of them turns to the other and asks, 'Does this taste funny to you? ↗

— Nicholas Sparks

#the-lucky-one #funny

That's good," Hunter said, panting. "Keep grinning at your attacker like that and they'll think you're way creepy. And mental." I grinned wider. "I totally love this. Who can I punch next? ↗

— Alyxandra Harvey

#hunter #kick-ass #lucy #funny

Stop hiding condoms in my stuff. It's like some twisted Easter egg hunt in there. ↗

— Alyxandra Harvey

#funny #lucy #over-protective #funny

Besides, do you think you would have come if I’d just popped into your tattoo shop one night around closing and said, ‘Hello, I’m the Prince of Darkness. Think you could help me out with a little war next Tuesday, say, sixish? ↗

— Richard Kadrey

#lucifer #funny

Etiquette was so confounding in this country. Still, looking at Mirabella-her fists balled together like small, white porcupines, her brows knitted in animal confusion-I felt a throb of compassion. How can people live like they do? I wondered. Then I congragulated myself. This was a Stage 3 thought. ↗

— Karen Russell

#karen-russell #st-lucys-home #home

Could we betray our parents by going back to them? ↗

— Karen Russell

#karen-russell #st-lucys-home #home

She was still loping around on all fours, her fists blue-white from the strain. As if she were holding a secret tight to the ground. Sister Maria de la Guardia would sigh every time she saw her. "Caramba!" She'd sit down with Mirabella and pry her fingers apart. "You see?" she'd say softly, again and again. "What are you holding on to? Nothing, little one. Nothing. ↗

— Karen Russell

#karen-russell #st-lucys-home #home

In my world, I am one of the luckiest humans alive. ↗

— Alexander Dale Oen

#am #humans #i #i am #luckiest

Every time you come in yelling that God damn "Rise and Shine!" "Rise and Shine!" I say to myself, "How lucky dead people are! ↗

— Tennessee Williams

#humor #lucky #rise #waking-up #humor

Luck is a woman. She's drawn to those that least deserve her. ↗

— Joe Abercrombie

#luck #women #humor