#m

Not kill us," Pigeon corrected. "She was mainly just trying to turn us into mindless slaves. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#slavery #humor

I have forgiven Jesus for all of the love he placed in me, when there's no one I can turn to with this love. ↗

— Morrissey

#lyrics #music #humor

Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words? ↗

— Ernest Hemingway

#humor

He has the attention span of a hummingbird. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor

Chong said, 'Do yourself a favor, Morg. Next time you're staring at a girl's boobs, look up. You'll be shocked to learn it, but there's going to be a face up there. Nose, mouth, eyes. And behind the eyes is an actual person. ↗

— Jonathan Maberry

#humor

Vin: I don't know -- and it's all your fault, you know. I used to understand everything. Now it's all confused. Kelsier: Yes, we've messed you up right properly. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor

The shackles." She stirred. "Aryal has both sets of chains, and the key," she told him, muffled against his skin. "She swears she'll find a way to destroy them. She's saying 'My Precious' a lot and talking about dropping them into a volcano. ↗

— Thea Harrison

#humor

I jerk around and see Sister Dora, a portly woman who's the head cook in the kitchen, staring daggers at me. This is nothing new. She stares daggers at everyone who walks through the lunch line holding a tray, as though our needing sustenance is a personal affront. ↗

— Pittacus Lore

#humor

I admitted. If I was going to hallucinate, then at least it was some hot dude instead of something gross. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#humor

But what's worth more than gold?" "Practically everything. You, for example. Gold is heavy. Your weight in gold is not very much gold at all. Aren't you worth more than that? ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#value #money