#m

Victory is everything. You can spend the money but you can never spend the memories. ↗

— Ken Venturi

#memories #money #never #spend #victory

I'm sorry, but you just can't fit fabulous into a backpack. ↗

— Samantha Sotto

#humor

You know, I've heard you actually have to have sex to get pregnant. ↗

— Stephanie Perkins

#humor

Liz cleared her throat. "Isn't there a more polite term we're supposed to use nowadays? Like....little person, or vertically challenged,or-" "I'm not going to call myself the god of vertically challenged people," Bes grumbled. "I'm a dwarf! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#sadie-kane #humor

When it comes to death, we know that laughter and tears are pretty much the same thing. And so, laughing and crying, we said good-bye to my grandmother. And when we said goodbye to one grandmother, we said good-bye to all of them. Each funeral was a funeral for all of us. We lived and died together. All of us laughed when they lowered my grandmother into the ground. And all of us laughed when they covered her with dirt. And all of us laughed as we walked and drove and rode our way back to our lonely, lonely houses. ↗

— Sherman Alexie

#grandmothers #death

You know what happens when you get out of the Marine Corps," Person continues. "you get you brains back. ↗

— Evan Wright

#humor

My best days are Monday through Friday, and Saturday and Sunday." "Ian," Wesley noted, "that covers the whole week." Ian nods his head. "Pretty much. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#humor

People who try to pretend they're superior make it so much harder for those of us who really are. ↗

— Hyacinth Bucket

#comedy #humor #humor

So you're the guy who did the no-no cha-cha with my baby sister. ↗

— Lish McBride

#sean-blackthorn #sex #siblings #humor

There’s nothing nine-tenths about me as a person. I’m a 100% kind of guy, at least half the time.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor