#m

That you honestly believe I am capable of hurting innocent people for no reason.” “You’re not?” I asked, hope softening my voice. “Oh, no, I’m more than capable. I just didn’t realize you knew that. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor

The only thing most people do better than anyone else is read their own handwriting. ↗

— John Adams

#penmanship #specialists #humor

You take the flotsam," I tell her, "I'll take the jetsam." You always get the jetsam,"she says pretending to pout. "Do you ever think if poeple heard our conversations they'd lock us up?" All the time. ↗

— Wendy Mass

#humor

Sarcasm, as it turned out--even when it was instinctive and quick--cut into the time one had to manufacture one's escape. ↗

— Mel Odom

#humor #humor

Are you making fun of my hero complex?' Yeah. ↗

— Linda Howard

#jaine #sam #humor

Watch out for the icy patch ↗

— Jim Henson

#humor

It's only worth staying in bed if you're young and in good company. ↗

— Carlos Ruiz Zafón

#humor

If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave. ↗

— Mo Willems

#humor #humorous #philosophy #psychology #humor

Women are angels, and when someone breaks your wings...We simply continue to fly...On a broomstick. We are flexible like that ↗

— Grace

#humor

Then set the hounds loose, boy - it's time to kick demonic ass! ↗

— Darren Shan

#humor #humor