#m

This is worse than Hollywood, he thought. A girl comes in with a pork chop and I write a song for her. ↗

— Eva Ibbotson

#humor #marek #song-for-summer #humor

The oversized chairs are white; the walls, covered with occasional landscape paintings, are white; and the plush carpet is the whitest of all. I'm insanely glad I didn't bring a cup of grape juice with me. ↗

— Wendy Mass

#humor

Eve-"In the name of all that is holy...It's 2060, not 1760. Can't they figure out a better way to handle this process?" Roarke-"Amen ↗

— J.D. Robb

#roarke-humor #humor

I'm a conundrum. Or an enigma. I forget which. ↗

— James A. Owen

#mystery #personality #humor

If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor

Grandma frowned and yelled something in Russian. She could have been saying, 'Open up, your best friend is here.' On the other hand, it could have been, 'America is a great country because of canned ravioli. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#humor #humor

You should spend more time reading the Good Book and less reading all those novels. What are you going to tell the Lord on Judgement Day when He asks you why you didn't read your bible? Hmm?" I will tell Him that His press agents could have done with a writing lesson or two, I said. To myself. ↗

— Jennifer Donnelly

#humor #writing #humor

Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit. ↗

— Sam Halpern

#humor

Aww, you know my verbal stingers are only poisoned with love ↗

— Laurie Faria Stolarz

#humor #laurie-faria-stolarz #love #mocking #humor

Camelot is a silly place. ↗

— Graham Chapman

#humor