#m

Self-esteem is for sissies. Accept that you're a pimple and try to keep a lively sense of humor about it. That way lies grace - and maybe even glory. ↗

— Tom Robbins

#humor

isaac knows how stupid i find these things, and he finds them just as stupid as i do. like lol. now, if there's anything stupider than buddy lists, it's lol. if anyone ever uses lol with me, i rip my computer right out of the wall and smash it over the nearest head. i mean, it's not like anyone's laughing out loud about the things they lol. i think it should be spelled loll, like what a lobotomized person's tongue does. loll. loll. i can't think any more. loll. loll! ↗

— David Levithan

#ya #humor

You see, I get so much fun out of thinking that I don’t want to destroy this pleasant machine that makes life such a big kick. ↗

— Richard P. Feynman

#humor

I don't believe in ONE holy book. I believe all books are holy. Of course, some books are holy shit. ↗

— John R. Lindensmith

#literature #religion #humor

Lord brayton is a very attractive man,' she called out above all their guffaws. 'And if he were to wear tis in my presence outside the bounds if this school, I would bed him. Repeatedly. Until I was unable to walk. ↗

— Delilah Marvelle

#humor

And-he was ashamed to admit--he had been known to carry off the occasional roll of duct tape. That stuff could be used for everything. ↗

— Sharon Ashwood

#paranormal-romance #sharon-ashwood #the-dark-forgotten #unchained #humor

If people were meant to pop out of bed in the morning, we'd all live in toasters. ↗

— Garfeild

#humor

We are men who find chess fascinating. Did you expect our lives to be secretly interesting? ↗

— Noah Boyd

#humor #humor

When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: "She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humorous #humor

His fair landlady was in despair. She would most willingly have made M. d'Artagnan her husband--such a handsome man, and such a fierce mustache! ↗

— Alexandre Dumas

#humor