#m

I wana go out like I came in... Naked and Screaming! ↗

— Christopher Baker

#humor

Aaron was so gay he walked with a lisp... ↗

— Edward D. Padilla

#humor

I closed my eyes and resigned myself to the fact that my boyfriend was a pervert. He was lucky he was so cute. ↗

— J.M. Colail

#humor #lgbt #relationship #humor

Look, this is just the cemetery. It's got bylaws and things! It's not Transylvania! There's just dead people here! That doesn't make it scary, does it? Dead people are people who were living once! You wouldn't be so worked up if there were living people buried here, would you? ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humor

If you don't read my book, I'm not coming to your birthday party. ↗

— Tim Yeager

#literary-fiction #humor

Fortunately, I got called down to NASA for an interview. And one thing led to the next, and one day I got that call. I've been here about seven years now and am really enjoying it. ↗

— Michael P. Anderson

#am #been #call #called #day

ARISE, AWAKE AND STOP NOT TILL THE GOAL IS REACHED ↗

— Swami Vivekananda

#humor

... then he offers me his arm. As I take it, I wonder what folly decreed that women cannot walk unassisted. ↗

— R.L. LaFevers

#humor

When I'm not working, it does. You turning Jack on?' 'God, what a revolting thought. ↗

— Keri Arthur

#keri-arthur #tempting-evil #humor

Is he actually good?” Judith asked. “He’s incredible.” “Sorry, are we talking about the painting or the shagging?” Nev asked. “The painting!” He grinned. “Right. ↗

— Ruthie Knox

#humor