#m

Got to say, dying would really wreck my best day. Been there, done that, and now that I think about it, Artemis forgot to give me the t-shirt. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#humour #humor

The greater part of the world's troubles are due to questions of grammar. ↗

— Michel de Montaigne

#grammar #humor #misunderstandings #problems #troubles

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about it's use. It is hitting below the intellect. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor

If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell ↗

— Philip Henry Sheridan

#hell #humor #humour #philip-h-sheridan #texas

You’re playing the creepy vibe a little hard,” I said. “Might as well go for broke, put on a black top hat and pipe in some organ music. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #humor

The sun rose like a stripper, keeping its glory well covered by cloud till it seemed there'd be no show at all. ↗

— Clive Barker

#lulz #similes #humor

Henry Jones: I didn't know you could fly a plane! Indiana Jones: Fly -- yes, land -- no. ↗

— Rob MacGregor

#movies #humor

Perhaps not," said Will, who had ears like a bat's. "But I would make a radiant bride. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #sass #will #william-herondale #humor

But you hardley even know him"she said."He could be a serial killer" "I did have that thought.I checked the apartment out,but if his got an ice cooler full of arms in it,I havent seen it yet.Anyway he seems pretty since. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

So you killed him with what now?" "I tried that Dr. Phil book at first"..."And I finished it off with the toilet seat. Just so you know, you left it up again. That drives me crazy. ↗

— Jesse Petersen

#zombies #humor