#m

Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson. ↗

— John Oliver

#hilarious #baseball

History isn't the lies of the victors, as I once glibly assured Old Joe Hunt; I know that now. It's more the memories of the survivors, most of whom are neither victorious or defeated. ↗

— Julian Barnes

#time #defeat

Thomas Jefferson once said: 'Of course the people don't want war. But the people can be brought to the bidding of their leader. All you have to do is tell them they're being attacked and denounce the pacifists for somehow a lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.' I think that was Jefferson. Oh wait. That was Hermann Goering. Shoot." [Hosting the Peabody Awards for broadcasting excellence at the New York Waldorf-Astoria, June 6, 2006] ↗

— Jon Stewart

#iraq-war #jefferson #misquote #war #iraq

[T]hose who are in a position of strength have a responsibility to protect the weak. ↗

— Thomas Cushman

#intervention #iraq #iraq-war #liberalism #iraq

I am somewhat exhausted; I wonder how a battery feels when it pours electricity into a non-conductor? ↗

— Arthur Conan Doyle

#electricity #energy #exhaustion #futility #sherlock-holmes

He needed the hand on his shoulder, the kiss to his temple and the hot, ragged breath of his Master over his face. ↗

— Casey K. Cox

#dominance #submission #bdsm

If he didn't get his cookie, then Harte would reacquaint himself with his hand. ↗

— Belinda McBride

#bdsm

Within seconds, his hand is inside my panties. Now he can feel just how much I am enjoying this. I think I hear him laugh quietly, but I still can’t see his face. My body is alive with sensation, and he probes his fingers deep inside me. He moves in and out, creating a satisfying rhythm of his own. This time I really moan out loud and nearly collapse backwards, falling onto his body behind me. He catches me casually, and pushes me back to my feet, before continuing. ↗

— Felicity Brandon

#bdsm-sex #punishment #spanking #bdsm

He's not a monster, he's a teddy bear," Eve said defiantly. "He's my teddy bear. I don't want you to hurt him. I want you to fix him." "There's nothing to fix," Danny said. "Paul's not broken. ↗

— Kele Moon

#pain-fetish #bdsm

Chris ordered Greek Chicken, no butter no salt, and I decided to splurge on a hamburger. To which my mama took the opportunity to point out that I could eat whatever I wanted and not get fat. She never believed me when I said I watched what I ate and exercised on the regular. “Her daddy was the same way. Straight up and down. Course she got the tits that he ain’t have. ↗

— Jane Aire

#humor #mothers-and-daughters #bdsm