#m

Lachlain and Emma: 'So you expect us to sit in this enclosed compartment the entire way in silence?' 'Of course not.' She clicked on the radio. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#kresley-cole #lachlain-macrieve #funny

=> When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile. => Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them. => It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#mystery-suspense #romance-funny #funny

Why is abbreviation such a long word? ↗

— Teresa Monachino

#funny #teresa-monachino #wordplay #words-fail-me #funny

It is not really hard to do nothing. Many can. The hard part is doing nothing without feeling guilty about it. ↗

— Haim Shapira

#happiness #wisdom #funny

What the hell happened to your leg?" Ang asked him. Matt looked down at his shin, which was scraped and oozing and seemed to be caked in mud. "Crashed." "Crashed what?" Ang asked. "My mountain bike. We just got back." "You crashed, then what? Rolled in dirt?" He laughed. "Something like that actually. It's not a successful ride if you don't bleed." He must not have noticed the look of horror on my face, because he asked, suddenly enthusiastic, "You guys ride?"Angelo and I just looked at each other, and he seemed to realize that was a "no." "Too bad. Well, make yourselves at home. Beer's in the fridge. I have to get cleaned up. Kickoff's in ten minutes." "Football?" Angelo asked. Matt looked at his as if he had just asked if the sky was really blue. "Yeah! First game of the regular season!" We just stared blankly at him, and he just laughed and disappeared down the hall. Angelo looked at me with a smile on his face. "Four fags watchin' football. Must be pretty fuckin' cold in hell right now. ↗

— Marie Sexton

#funny #gay #matt #sports #zach

So what can I really do? If you can jump through a two-story window, then what can I do?" "You can do that too. You don't need wings to do it,either. ↗

— Courtney Allison Moulton

#jump #window #wings #funny

Even her pink bunny slippers seem to prick up their ears. ↗

— Sally Harris

#mother #funny

I never said you were supposed to be a jailer, i only said a normal person would have questioned why someone would create a decoy nun and then crawl out the window. ↗

— Janette Rallison

#normal #writer #funny

You're lips are bloody.' He seized my face in both hands and kissed me. It's hard not to respond when a master of the art of kissing is laying one on you. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#eric-northman #kissing #living-dead-in-dallas #sookie-stackhouse #art

At this time of year it's easy to forget the true meaning of Christianity - the lies, the corruption, the abuse. ↗

— Banksy

#art #christianity #christmas #priest #religion