#m

People have many cruel expectations from writers. People expect novelists to live on a hill with three kids and a spouse, people expect children's story writers to never have sex, and people expect all great poets to be dead. And these are all very difficult expectations to fulfill, I think. ↗

— C. JoyBell C.

#humour #writers #writers-on-writing #humor

Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you. ↗

— Patton Oswalt

#liquor #humor

I'm in crisis. I'm about to bump with a five-foot chino-chicano. ↗

— Megan McCafferty

#humor

Over there!" "Where?" Enna asked in mock panic "Do you see something? ↗

— Shannon Hale

#humor #humor

They seem nice, though, your sisters, really,' Porcelain remarked. 'Ha!' I said. 'Shows what little you know! I hate them!' 'Hate them? I should have thought you'd love them.' 'Of course I love them,' I said.... 'That's why I'm so good at hating them. ↗

— Alan Bradley

#humor #mystery #family

Nothing could go wrong because nothing had...I meant "nothing would." No - Then I quit trying to phrase it, realizing that if time travel ever became widespread, English grammar was going to have to add a whole new set of tenses to describe reflexive situations - conjugations that would make the French literary tenses and the Latin historical tenses look simple. ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#humor #science-fiction #time-travel #humor

It ain't no fun once the rabbit has got the gun. ↗

— M.G. Hardie

#humor

Delk shifted in his chair, the arrow point never wavering. "What do you want?" "Oh, the usual.World peace, a pair of Christian Louboton heels, a perfect wedding. ↗

— MaryJanice Davidson

#inspirational #motivating #humor

You go Picasso! ↗

— Sarah Weeks

#humor-inspirational #humor

And that's what I don't like about magic, Captain. 'cos it's *magic*. You can't ask questions, it's magic. It doesn't explain anything, it's magic. You don't know where it comes from, it's magic! That's what I don't like about magic, it does everything by magic! ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #magic #science-fiction #humor