#ma

A man's plumbing is like his mind: simple, very few surprises. You ladies, on the other hand...well, God put a lot of thought in making you. ↗

— Khaled Hosseini

#funny #humor #male #funny

I’m out of health potions. Retreat! Retreat! Give me some of your health potions!” I screamed. “I don’t have any potions. Run, bitch, run,” Brody squealed. The red ran out on my health and my assassin was transported, stripped of everything we’d earned, back to the starting camp. “I’m dead! Fuck, they killed me! ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#romance #humor

Snowball?" It's white." Meow." It's so girly." This from a guy who named his poodle Princess." his laughter died. "How do you know about Princess?" Your sister told me. ↗

— Rachel Gibson

#humor #romance #humor

Michael nodded tersely, eyeing a table across the room. It was empty. So empty. So joyfully, blessedly empty. He could picture himself a very happy man at that table. "Not feeling very conversational this evening, are we?" Colin asked, breaking into his (admittedly tame) fantasies. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #julia-quinn #romance #humor

Everybody has a right to be defended, and every lawyer has a duty to defend people accused. And my office is to defend him, to discuss the accusation point by point, as I think this is a normal step in a democracy. ↗

— Jacques Verges

#accused #defend #defended #democracy #discuss

Of course, tax revenues have ended up being substantially higher than they were at the time these dire projections were made, and we are very close now to having a balanced budget. All that has been very helpful. ↗

— Charles Vest

#balanced budget #been #being #budget #close

The school made it very clear that women were entitled to positions of authority. That sense of entitlement allowed us to feel that we have a natural place in leadership in the world. That gave me a mental and emotional confidence. ↗

— Linda Vester

#authority #clear #confidence #emotional #entitled

Generally I don't care about what people say. I have to be clear with myself. When everything goes well, people celebrate you, when you make mistakes people criticize you. ↗

— Sebastian Vettel

#care #celebrate #clear #criticize #everything

Weight (too much or too little) is a by-product. Weight is what happens when you use food to flatten your life. Even with aching joints, it's not about food. Even with arthritis, diabetes, high blood pressure. It's about your desire to flatten your life. It's about the fact that you've given up without saying so. It's about your belief that it's not possible to live any other way -- and you're using food to act that out without ever having to admit it. (p. 53) ↗

— Geneen Roth

#eating #eating-disorders #health #food

I know what party you’re talking about. I might have to swing through. Especially if you’re going to be there in a costume.” He winked and leaned back in his seat. “I’m going as a homeless person.” “Sexy. ↗

— Chanelle Gray

#funny #humor #romance #funny