#marriage

Bride, n. - A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#happiness #humor #marriage #matrimony #satire

I'm married. And pregnant. ↗

— Edan Lepucki

#impromptu-humor #marriage #what-the-hell #humor

Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing from blonde to blonde like the chamois of the Alps leaping from crag to crag. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor #marriage #trophy-wives #humor

For better or for worse, but not for lunch,... ↗

— Abigail Thomas

#marriage #relationships #humor

There's a very generous donation in the parish's future if you make this fast. Ten minutes, at the most." Frowning, the man fumbled open his liturgy. "There's an established rite, Your Grace. Marriage must be entered into with solemnity and consideration. I don't know that I can rush--" "Ten minutes. One thousand guineas." The liturgy snapped closed. "Then again, what do a few extra minutes signify to an eternal God?" He beckoned Amelia with a fluttering, papery hand. "Make haste, child. You're about to be married. ↗

— Tessa Dare

#marriage #money #humor

Modern wife: A position thought to require great ambition to fill. After initially showing some skill at a maid service or department store, the husband takes her home to find that she has risen too high in the world to generalize that skill, which drives him to drink. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #marriage #wife #funny

Inside your soul is the ability to survive even the toughest storms, and that paradise can always be found--even in the middle of a hurricane--if you are willing to look. ↗

— Denise Hildreth Jones

#humor #love-and-romance #remarriage #humor

I can’t help but notice that you keep writing love poetry to my wife. Well, you see, I married her, which makes her my wife. You know what you might want to try? Writing some poems about the sunset. The sunset isn’t fucking married. ↗

— A.J. Jacobs

#marriage #poetry #humor

What kind of wedding would you like?" he asked, and stole another kiss before she could reply. "The kind that turns you into my husband." She touched the firm line of his mouth with her fingers. "What kind would you like?" He smiled ruefully. "A fast one. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#husband #marriage #love

When you love someone - when you create a child with him - you don't just suddenly lose that bond. Like any other energy, it can't be destroyed, just channeled into something else. ↗

— Jodi Picoult

#marriage #love