#mat

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#severed #stocking #ultimate

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#depressing #get #good #how #i

Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#eat #how #hungry #i #i am

Birds I am fine with - spiders are an entirely different matter. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#birds #different #entirely #fine #i

Even though money seems such an objective topic, it can also be the most intimate, and possibly harmful, part of a relationship. ↗

— Christie Hefner

#even #harmful #intimate #money #most

I had higher math SATs than in English - yet I became an English major in college. ↗

— Christie Hefner

#college #english #english major #had #higher

People get their information in different ways now. And we are a little poorer for it, because the way you get information affects what you learn. ↗

— Hugh Hefner

#because #different #different ways #get #information

Matrimony; the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. ↗

— Heinrich Heine

#compass #high #invented #matrimony #sea

I just ultimately wanted to be a mother. I love children. ↗

— Katherine Heigl

#i #i love #just #love #mother

My mother is a realist, and she's had biological and adoptive children, and she said it's no different: No matter what, they're putting a stranger into your arms. You don't know them yet. ↗

— Katherine Heigl

#biological #children #different #had #into