#men

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act. ↗

— James Agate

#cannot #conceal #director #engaged #fact

Luck is a woman. She's drawn to those that least deserve her. ↗

— Joe Abercrombie

#luck #women #humor

Sometimes women just need to cry. ↗

— Colleen Hoover

#women #humor

Bless the bright eyes of your sex! They never see, whether for good or bad, more than one side of any question; and that is always, the one which first presents itself to them. ↗

— Charles Dickens

#women #humor

Now, paper and pencils," said Miss Marcy, clapping her hands. Writing paper is scarce in this house, and I had no intention of tearing sheets out of this exercise book, which is a superb sixpenny one the Vicar gave me. In the end, Miss Marcy took the middle pages out of her library record, which gave us a pleasant feeling that we were stealing from the government, and then we sat round the table and elected her chairman. ↗

— Dodie Smith

#humor #humor

See if you can spot the difference between these two statements: (a) «Those trousers make your backside look fat.» (b) «You're a repellently obese old hag upon whom I am compelled to heap insults and derision — depressingly far removed from the, 'stupid, squeaky, pocket-sized English women,' who make up my vast catalogue of former lovers and to whom I might as well return right now as I hate everything about you.» Maybe the acoustics were really bad in the dining room, or something. ↗

— Mil Millington

#humor #relationships #humor

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience - well, that comes from poor judgment. ↗

— A.A. Milne

#humorous-quotations #judgment #experience

Still, there are times I am bewildered by each mile I have traveled, each meal I have eaten, each person I have known, each room in which I have slept. As ordinary as it all appears, there are times when it is beyond my imagination. ↗

— Jhumpa Lahiri

#imagination

If you have ever lost a loved one, then you know exactly how it feels. And if you have not, then you cannot possibly imagine it. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#mourning #imagination

While the astronauts, heroes forever, spent mere hours on the moon, I have remained in this new world for nearly thirty years. I know that my achievement is quite ordinary. I am not the only man to seek his fortune far from home, and certainly I am not the first. Still, there are times I am bewildered by each mile I have traveled, each meal I have eaten, each person I have known, each room in which I have slept. As ordinary as it all appears, there are times when it is beyond my imagination." (from "The Third and Final Continent") ↗

— Jhumpa Lahiri

#moon #imagination