#mis

People love to see you get ahead — so long as you don't get farther ahead than they are. ↗

— Carol Plum-Ucci

#love

Now let me teach you another thing about my daughter. I love her very much but she has the ability to hide as expertly as a sock in a washing machine. No one knows where it goes, just as no one knows where she goes, but at least when she decides to come back, we're all here, waiting for her. ↗

— Cecelia Ahern

#missing #humor

Life is a huge farce, and the advantage of possessing a sense of humour is that it enables one to defy fate with mocking laughter. ↗

— George R. Gissing

#life #pessimism #humor

From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular message for humanity. I am still plugging away and not the ghost of one so far, so it begins to look as though, unless I suddenly hit mid-season form in my eighties, humanity will remain a message short. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor #mission #pg-wodehouse #writing #humor

What New England is, is a state of mind, a place where dry humor and perpetual disappointment blend to produce an ironic pessimism that folks from away find most perplexing ↗

— Willem Lange

#dry-humor #humor #new-england #perplexing #pessimism

He was a Frenchman, a melancholy-looking man. His aspect was that of one who has been looking for the leak in a gas pipe with a lighted candle. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#life #melancholy #misfortune #humor

You need to stop thinking with your head, Mud Boy, and start thinking with your heart.” Artemis sighed. The heart was an organ for pumping oxygen-rich blood to the cells. It could no more think than an apple could tap-dance. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#love #mulch #humor

What's wrong with you? I asked myself. You are a happy person. You are an upbeat sort of person. Men smile at you on the subway, women ask you what shampoo you use. Cheer up for Christ's sake, I told myself, relax, you're fine, be happy, Girl. When I talk to myself I call myself Girl. ↗

— Jennifer Belle

#humor #optimism #humor

Missing you is worse than Pittsburgh. ↗

— Salvador Plascencia

#missing-someone #romance #humor

You can share in my joy, but I don’t want to share my misery. No, I want to give away my misery. Go ahead, take it all.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #joy #miserable #misery #selfish