#mist

He laughs. "Put some clothes on so you don't scare poor Kiara with your morning hard-on." I look down at my shorts. Sure enough, I've got la tengo dura in front of Kiara and Tuck. Shit. I reach out for the first thing I can grab and put it in front of me to shield myself from view. It happens to be one of Kiara's stuffed animals, but I don't have much choice right now. "That's Kiara's Mojo," Tuck says, laughing. "Get it? Mojo? ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#carlos-fuentes #funny #kiara #kiara-westford #perfect-chemistry

Next to coming to a good understanding with a new mistress, I love a quarrel with an old one. ↗

— George Etherege

#good #i #i love #love #mistress

I'm going to take a shower," I said and prepared for the comment I knew was coming. "You know what they say, conserve water and shower with a friend. ↗

— Chelsea M. Cameron

#funny #hunter-zaccadelli #my-favorite-mistake #shower #taylor-and-hunter

I pointed to a low bowl filled with what purported to be stew, but then Noah said, “Are you going to point, or are you going to eat?” “I just like to know what I’m putting in my mouth before I swallow.” Noah arched an eyebrow, and I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#mistaken #funny

Are you Darah, Renee or Taylor? You look like a Taylor to me," he said, looking me up and down. I wasn't at my best, considering I was dressed for moving heavy objects in a blue UMaine t-shirt and black soccer shorts, and I had my light brown hair in a haphazard bun against the back of my neck. His eyes raked up and down twice, and for some reason the way he assessed me made me blush and want to kick him in the balls at the same time. "There must be a mistake," I said. He adjusted his bag on his shoulder. "That's a creative name. What do you shorten it to? Missy? ↗

— Chelsea M. Cameron

#funny #hunter-zaccadelli #missy #my-favorite-mistake #taylor-and-hunter

The real purpose of the scientific method is to make sure nature hasn’t misled you into thinking you know something you actually don’t know. ↗

— Robert M. Pirsig

#knowledge #mistake #nature #science #art

It’s not our mistakes that define us. It’s the lessons we learn that show our true character. ↗

— Cassia Leo

#lessons #mistakes #home

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised. ↗

— George Will

#being #constantly #either #nice #part

I’m not going to lecture you on the error of your ways. Not until you fetch me a podium and a microphone. I’ll also need a screen, a projector, and a laser pointer. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#errors #funny #humor #laser #lecture

Oh, no-" They weren't even on the runway, and Jonah's father was already immersed in his BlackBerry. "Remember those 'Live Large with the Wiz Generation' posters? Well, guess how that translates into Chinese- 'Jonah Wizard Makes Your Ancestors Fat'. ↗

— Gordon Korman

#joke #jonah-wizard #mistake #translation #humor