#mm

Speech was given to the ordinary sort or men, whereby to communicate their mind; but to wise men, whereby to conceal it. ↗

— Robert South

#conceal #given #men #mind #ordinary

Why did you tell her I'm your boyfriend? Why doesn't she know about your real one? - Timmy He's English! And Mom...Mom hates foreigners! - Cat ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#cat #funny #timmy #funny

I want to merge a Phoenix with a Camel to create the world's first everlasting cigarette. It'll be a cigarette that rises from its own ashes, so you can keep smoking it indefinitely. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cigarette #everlasting #funny #humor #immortality

Somewhere in the world there is an epigram for every dilemma. ↗

— Hendrik Willem Van Loon

#epigram #every #somewhere #world

That's the funny thing, she thought. You always want things to get better, but you never know how good you already have it. ↗

— Scott Speer

#maddy #funny

Vanilla has become too genericized. It’s become standard, which is good. Vanilla is a household name. But the same standardization that’s made it so popular has taken the novelty out of it. Being the vanguard of ice cream has vanquished its radical sensation. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#commonplace #funny #ice-cream #vanilla #funny

I am proud of my kids, but I also want to make my mom proud of me. I'm still a momma's girl at the heart of the situation. ↗

— Tori Spelling

#am #girl #heart #i #i am

I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed . . . Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks. ↗

— Tara Gilesbie

#funny #my-immortal #funny

Communism destroys democracy. Democracy can also destroy Communism. ↗

— Andre Malraux

#communism #democracy #destroy #destroys

I feel the color in my cheeks rising again. I must be the color of The Communist Manifesto. ↗

— E.L. James

#anastasia #anastasia-steele #blush #communist-manifesto #e-l-james