#mo

He's attracted to the smell of manure," Felicity says. "You might wallow in the stables to bring out the full flower of his love. ↗

— Libba Bray

#humor #libba-bray #rebel-angels #humor

Sunrises and sunsets are real jerks about putting things in perspective. ↗

— Josh Lieb

#josh-lieb #humor

Okay, then, what was he like? Just give me something to go on so that I have a shot at him!' 'A shot at him? Are you on an elk hunt? ↗

— Sara Zarr

#humor #relationships #teenagers #humor

Have you ever kissed anybody?" he asked and took a sip. I smirked. "There aren't a whole lot of opportunitiesin the digital world. I did practice on my hand once. It didn't do anything for me". Justin coughed on the water he was swallowing and I slapped my hand over my mouth. "Did I just say that aloud?" I mumbled. He was half coughing, half laughing. "Yes, you did", he managed to say. ↗

— Katie Macvinsky

#humor #maddie-and-justin #humor

This is why they say you should look before you leap. They say a lot of things. Carpe diem. Even platitudes contradict each other. Man, this has to be the longest fall ever if I have the time to think all this. ↗

— Swati Avasthi

#humor

She had a tall bearing and a tall voice and a tall manner, and was tall in every respect except height. Amazingly, she'd apparently been able to keep this a secret from people. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor

Because I withered under the glare of an actual invitation, I was a firm believer in preventive prevarication--in other words, lying early in order to free myself later on. ↗

— Rachel Cohn

#lying #humor

I'm a novelist. Anything you say can be taken down and used against you in a work of fiction. ↗

— Anne R. Allen

#warning #writer-humor #humor

I always felt, you don’t have a good time doin crime, you may as well find a job. ↗

— Elmore Leonard

#humor

Among our articles of lazy hardware, I recommend the faucet that stops dripping when no one is listening to it. ↗

— Marcel Duchamp

#humor