#mo

Ash paused as he entered the house to find the three women lined up and... singing to... dear gods, anything but this. "Fergilicious." All he needed was for Simi to be here and off-key with them since it was her favorite song and he'd spent the better part of the last year cursing whoever was dumb enough to introduce that song to a hormonal teenaged demon. Worst part? Simi wanted him to call her Similicious. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#humor #simi #humor

Is your inner vampire different from your... outer vampire? Deffinitely. He wants me to wear midriff-baring shirts and a fedora. I'm fighting it. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #simon-lewis #humor

How can such scary looking parents create something so cute? ↗

— Chetan Bhagat

#humor

Life makes fools of all of us sooner or later. But keep your sense of humor and you'll at least be able to take your humiliations with some measure of grace. In the end, you know, its our own expectations that crush us. ↗

— Paul Murray

#humiliation #humor #life #humor

I love being a wizard. Every day is like Disneyland. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

There's something different about you," he says. "I've started styling my hair differently," I laugh. "Oh. I thought it was that you were three feet taller, a hell of a lot broader, look like a werewolf, and are naked expect for that bit of cloth around your waist. But you're right - it's the hair. ↗

— Darren Shan

#humor

I'm afraid that's inappropriate behavior for the schoolyard," Xavier teased. "I know my charm is hard to resist, but please tray and control yourself. ↗

— Alexandra Adornetto

#teasing #humor

Statement: A girl and a boy jump into a river. The boy swims over to the girl and says, "God, it's cold." Question: What's the probability they will kiss? ↗

— Jenny Downham

#humor #love #math #humor

If he's getting married, he's not longer interesting. ↗

— Colette

#marriage #men #humor

I'm getting a girlfriend soon," said Michael in a serious tone, and everyone laughed. "You've got plenty of time for that, kiddo," said his father. "No need to rush." "Well, I don't want a boyfriend, Daddy," said Madeline. "Boys are dirty, and they make a mess when they eat." "I'd imagine the six-year-old ones would." Xavier chuckled. "But don't worry, they get better at it. ↗

— Alexandra Adornetto

#xavier-woods #humor