#mo

Rest. Heal. Sleep. I shall most likely kill you on the morrow.” “You? A Princess Bride quote?” I croaked. “What is that?” she asked. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #princess-bride #humor

I’m not bipolar, I’ve just had a bipolar life foisted upon me. ↗

— Daniel O'Malley

#humor #sarcasm #scifi #humor

Dr Urbino did not agree: in his opinion a Liberal president was exactly the same as a Conservative president, but not as well dressed. ↗

— Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

#politics #humor

How could you fall in love with a three inch worm? ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#humor #romance #humor

Coffee or orange juice?” “Water is fine.” His eyebrows went up. “Uh-oh,” Auriele said, but she was smiling. Darryl was not. “Are you implying that my coffee is not the best in four counties? Or my fresh-squeezed orange juice is less than perfect? ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#breakfast #darryl #humor #mercy-thompson #silver-borne

Come to think of it, Your Majesty, I believe I must still be growing. Either that, or you are shrinking. ↗

— C.L. Wilson

#humor

I walk up and down the rows. The heads look like rubber halloween masks. They also look like human heads, but my brain has no precedent for human heads on tables or in roasting pans or anywhere other than on top of a human bodies, and so I think it has chosen to interpret the sight in a more comforting manner. - Here we are at the rubber mask factory. Look at the nice men and woman working on the masks. ↗

— Mary Roach

#science #humor

'Mr. and Mrs. Lowell are not receiving.' What the hell did that mean? 'I'm not throwing a forty-yard pass. I just have a few questions. I think their daughter is in danger.' ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor

I stared up at the sky and raised my middle finger, just in case God was watching. I don't like being spied on. ↗

— Annabel Pitcher

#god #humor #innocent #middle-finger #privacy

Yeah,it’s kind of a hobby. What’s yours? Kicking puppies? ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#humor