#mo

I'm a sucker for a guy with a big organ. ↗

— Marc Acito

#humor #humor

If you were up to your neck in cat vomit and someone threw dog poop at you would you duck? ↗

— Joel Samaha

#inquisitive #humor

I knew things like if you had fifty cents, and you stole a dollar from the slow kid, you had a dollar fifty ↗

— Mishna Wolff

#humor

Laugh at yourself once in a while; give yourself a break. ↗

— Greg Evans

#humor

If you're going to hit a car, try to be sure that it's not a cop car ↗

— Judy Gold

#police #wisdom #humor

Gert: What... what just happened? Chase: I don't know, but guess who totally stole Cookie Monster's glasses! Gert: Whew, for a second there, I was worried we almost learned something. Chase: Ooo, look at me! I'm a big fluffy nerd! ↗

— Brian K. Vaughan

#humor #runaways #x-men #humor

Błogosławiony ten, co nie mając nic do powiedzenia, nie obleka tego faktu w słowa. ↗

— Julian Tuwim

#life #relationships #humor

When someone says "just saying" what they really mean is, "You would be a colossal idiot to not take my advice." (on Facebook) ↗

— Stephen Altrogge

#humor

You have to unhook your seat belt." "That's not true." "I'm afraid it's difficult to walk on the beach if you're strapped to a car seat. ↗

— Nora Roberts

#humor #humor

(Regarding check-cashing places): It's hitting me how poor this really is: I'm standing in a long line to pay someone to give me my pay. So, technically, they get paid before I do, and it's my damn check. ↗

— Angela Nissel

#cash #humor #money #poor #poor-people